YOU'VE GOT SNAKES!
In what may be the greatest movie marketing ploy of all time, the promoters of "Snakes on a Motherf***ing Plane" have set up a website where you can send a friend a personal message from Samuel L. Jackson. Imagine my surprise when I clicked on this link imploring me to take "My Homeboy Neil" to the "best movie of all time." I have been informed that the "Neil" reference is supposed to be "Neil Heinen," who is, by the way, the first person I would choose to see the movie with.
So send your loved ones a Snake-gram today. They will probably never speak to you again, but that might actually be a good thing.