Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I Always Say: Safety First!

Readers of this blog are well aware of my tireless advocacy for women's rights. Well, I have finally found a cause that I can get behind. From today's news:
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli woman's breast implants saved her life when she was wounded in a Hizbollah rocket attack during Israel's war with the Lebanese group, a hospital spokesman said Tuesday.

Doctors found shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants, just inches from the 24-year-old's heart. "She was saved from death," said a spokesman for Nahariya Hospital in northern Israel. The woman has been released from hospital.
Seeing as how I am all about safety, I am now lobbying the State Legislature to make these mandatory. It's a dangerous world out there - I want to make sure Wisconsin's women are "equipped" to deal with imminent danger. I'll set up my own nonprofit organization (The Institute for Thorax Safety), raise money, and come up with some sham medical evidence to "support" my claims.

The next headline you'll see:

Breast Implant Mandate Goes Into Effect: Worker Productivity Down 70%

Wait...what was I talking about again?