Phil Garner is a War Criminal
I demand an international tribunal be convened to investigate Phil Garner's snubbing of Chris Capuano for the All-Star team in favor of one of his own less-deserving players. Rumor has it that Garner is hiding in a cave in suburban Houston. So naturally, we should invade New Mexico.
UPDATE: Capuano was named to the All Star team today to replace Tom Glavine. Clearly my hyperbolic lobbying worked. Next, I will compare Doug Melvin to Stalin because he refuses to trade Geoff Jenkins.