Sunday, July 16, 2006

Feds Seize Bin Laden's Snowblower

On July 14th, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency made a major announcement: that they would finally be getting tough on illegal immigration - of engines that pollute. They bragged that there would be a crackdown on importation of engines that may endanger U.S. air quality.

According to the EPA's press release:

The federal Clean Air Act (CAA) requires new gasoline and diesel engines sold or distributed in the United States to meet EPA emissions requirements to protect public health and the environment from air pollution. There has been a recent and dramatic increase in imports of gasoline and diesel equipment, chiefly from China, which do not meet these standards.
So the movement of illegal combustion engines across our borders is worthy of federal resources? Is there a sleeper cell of lawn mower engines plotting to take down America by mulching us to death? For every dollar they spend looking for illegal engines, they could be looking for illegal aliens or terrorists. The biggest threat to American air quality is the exhaust from a burning building after al-Qaeda bombs it.

This brings to mind the obvious question: What if we catch a Mexican zooming across the U.S./Mexico border on an illegal engine? Keep the alien and have the scooter deported?

Here's the picture that accompanied the EPA press release. It shows how tough on immigration they really are getting. Thank you, Federal Government. I now feel safe.