Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Doyle Administration Unveils New Uniforms, Logo, Attitude

Madison - Following the lead of the NBA's Milwaukee Bucks, Governor Jim Doyle today announced some "sassy" steps to improve his administration's sagging reputation. "I think the Bucks have shown that new uniforms can make all the difference, regardless of whether it's the same people wearing them," said an effusive Doyle.

A popular promotion within the Doyle administration has been "Turn Back the Clock Night," where Doyle donors are offered the chance to re-bid for state contracts that were previously awarded to competent low bidders. For complete authenticity, Doyle's donors are then allowed to pay the state what the contract was worth in 1983.

Doyle said the new color scheme and logo are an attempt to freshen the administration's image and make it more appealing to younger voters. "I want to reach down to the hip younger kids that might care more about Sir Mix-a-Lot and Rubik's cubes than they do about their government, who they think might be out of touch," said Doyle.

In a related move, the Doyle administration obtained point guard Earl Boykins from the Denver Nuggets in exchange for the state welding contract. ESPN analyst Jay Bilas immediately ripped the move, citing welding's tremendous upside potential and wingspan.

The administration's official uniform has changed several times, with the most recent being the fashionable orange jumpsuit.