Sunday, May 14, 2006

Every Penguin a Wanted Penguin

I know I'm waaaaaay late to the party on this, but I just watched March of the Penguins and I have now officially caught penguin fever (my man-crush on Morgan Freeman notwithstanding). If the purpose of the movie is to show much more evolved and mature penguins are than humans, it did its job for me.

The pro-life message of the movie, whether the filmmakers intended it or not, is unmistakable. In a society where female humans form entire associations to fight for their right terminate their unborn children, female penguins brave cold, starvation, and predators to make sure their eggs hatch. Some are so distraught about losing their unborn chicks, they try to steal them from other penguins (which has all the makings of a Lifetime movie starring Tracey Gold). Needless to say, there won't be a National Association of Women Penguins.

Additionally, the male penguins take an incredibly active role in protecting the eggs from the elements. Virtually as soon as the eggs are hatched, the males take over the role of squatting on the eggs to protect them from the brutal cold, and stay on them for months while the females return to the ocean to feed. Contrast this to humans, where many fathers are out the door as soon as they can break free, if they're ever tracked down at all. Needless to say, you will never see a penguin on the Maury Povich show getting a paternity test - they take care of their bidness.

I'm obviously not the first person to point this out - the Catholic organizations were all over this from the get-go. And the New York Times thinks the film is a conservative conspiracy. Although I can honestly say I would now rather have an emperor penguin living in my house than any New York Times correspondent.

So when it comes time for President Bush or his successor to pick a new Supreme Court justice, I'm hoping it is a penguin. Honestly, if the Republican presidential primary came down to John McCain versus an emperor penguin, I'd have a hard time choosing.

I can see it now: