Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Does Your Grandmother Think Madonna is Offensive Anymore?

The headline on the front page of the USA Today Life Section this morning breathlessly promised details of Madonna's "shocking" show last night in Los Angeles. The accompanying story lays out what was so "shocking"- a crucifix, some bad stuff about George W, and other run of the mill garbage that was lame in 1985 when she was doing it.

I was going to do a whole post about how lame and tired the whole Madonna act is, but I ran across this English concert review that says it a lot better than I can. It is just dripping with contempt for her ridiculous attempts to offend.

The world's most famous 47-year-old took to the stage, a mere 50 minutes late, determined to prove to all those willing to listen - and pay up to £200 a ticket - that she still had the ability to grab headlines.

She insulted George Bush, simulated sex and suspended herself from a giant mirrored crucifix, head adorned with a designer crown of thorns (provided by Cotter Church Supplies, LA) in an all-out attempt to get someone, anyone out there, riled...

And then it started to go a bit wonky. We know about the former Material Girl's newfound spirituality and devotion to Kabbalah, and Madonna seemed determined to Leave People With A Message.

Thus, words of cod wisdom such as: "There's light even in the darkest places" flashed up on screen - which was nice enough, even if it sat oddly with her previously stated message to "turn the world into one big dance floor".

But Didactic Madonna wasn't finished-Up she went, suspended on a large crucifix, as images of child poverty flickered on the screens. The tour, incidentally, is estimated to gross $200 million. In the next segment she engaged in an energetic "fight" with a male dancer which involved a demonstration of her unnerving ability to bend her leg around the back of her head.

Next, a montage of world leaders was flashed up as Madge sang: "I've listened to your lies", images including Nixon, Pinochet, Hitler and Blair.

But Madonna had bigger fish to fry, in the shape of George Bush. She urged fans to perform a certain sexual act on the President...

The show ended - rather abruptly - with no encore and with the lights immediately going on, leaving us all looking at one another in a slightly embarrassed fashion, as though we'd just been caught doing something we shouldn't have been.


At this point, the only way Madonna could be shocking would be if she displayed any talent.