Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Giving "Flagpole" a Whole New Meaning

So apparently there is a big controversy over in Racine "popping up" that involves tastless pictures sent out by a political operative. I'm not really interested in the sordid details of the story, but I do think one part of the controversy is being completely overlooked.

The man is wearing the American flag as a banana hammock.

Any red-blooded American should support shutting down any business that produces American flag penis pouches. I mean, seriously - our men and women are fighting overseas for our freedom, and this guy is wrapping his crank in Old Glory.

Back in the boy scouts, we were taught that according to flag etiquette, you had to burn the flag if it even touched the ground. What are you supposed to do if this jerkoff is playing "pig in a blanket" with it? I propose the following amendment to flag etiquette - you have to burn it while he's wearing it. That will teach him a lesson.

Where will the Supreme Court stand on this? This gives Texas v. Johnson a whole new meaning. Only in flag burning cases, the dissenters are demonstrating. The only thing the hammock demonstrates is that this Bene-dick'd Arnold must keep it awfully cold in his house.