Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Fun With Statutes, March Edition

Check out this state law, which describes the types of weapons that individuals under the age of 18 are prohibited from carrying:

948.60 Possession of a dangerous weapon by a person under 18.

948.60(1) (1) In this section, "dangerous weapon" means anyfirearm, loaded or unloaded; any electric weapon, as defined in s. 941.295 (4); metallic knuckles or knuckles of any substance which could be put to the same use with the same or similar effect as metallic knuckles; a nunchaku or any similar weapon consisting of 2 sticks of wood, plastic or metal connected at one end by a length of rope, chain, wire or leather; a cestus or similar material weighted with metal or other substance and worn on the hand; a shuriken or any similar pointed star-like object intended to injure a person when thrown; or a manrikigusari or similar length of chain having weighted ends.

First of all, for those of you who don't know what a cestus is, here's a picture:



So for those of you planning on starting a fight with an ancient Roman, watch your ass. Or those of you planning on throwing blows at Caesar's Palace.

Secondly, what is with all the dorky weapons references? Are the state's bill drafters big Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts? Did they put down the 12 sided dice long enough to draft up this law? Should we dictate how many hit points are given to a victim being attacked by a "shuriken or any similar pointed star-like object?"

Am I allowed to assault someone if I am a "Skull Legion Mercenary" or an "Orish Warbringer?" (loosely translated to English as "Dateless Masturbator.")