Sunday, March 26, 2006

200th Post - Fast Food Notes

I'm up to 200 posts now, with most people still waiting for the first good one. Basically, I'm just procrastinating writing a really long post I have in mind. A couple points on fast food:

Whoever thought of putting mayonnaise on a cheesburger deserves to be written into my will. Of course, that change to my will will have to be made quickly if I keep eating cheeseburgers with mayonnaise on them.

Why does McDonald's even bother selling salads? Have you ever seen anyone order one? Essentially, you have to pay more for your food to subsidize the presence of salads, so McDonald's will seem more health conscious. There's no way salads are pulling their own weight.

If I ever become homeless (and if I had to make a living by blogging, I would be), the first place I would look for spare change is under the drive-through window. I swear I drop coins about every other time I pick up drive-through food. Somewhere, there's some guy that's been following me around that just bought a three bedroom in Shorewood Hills.

One of my doctor friends told me that it's not bad to pig out on fast food, since once you consume a certain amount of fat at one sitting, your body can't process any more fat and just expels it. Heartened, I decided to test this theory about five times a week, with no noticeable weight loss results yet.

For some reason, my wife likes eating her french fries with tartar sauce (she's a closet Euro, which explains why she voted for Kerry). I am being generous if I estimate that they remember to put her side of tartar sauce in the bag 30% of the time. I would be less surprised to see a map to bin Laden's cave than I would if they'd remember the tartar sauce.

The death penalty is still illegal in Wisconsin, yet McDonald's is still allowed to sell McGriddle breakfast sandwiches. Where is the consistency?