Sunday, December 11, 2005

Weekend Notes

In what is probably the most transparent and crass political maneuver of the year, State Representative John Lehman on Friday announced that he would be introducing a bill to allow disabled veterans free admission to state parks. You may recall that Lehman is the same guy who spent three months in prison in 1971 for dodging the draft, before he was pardoned by President Gerald Ford. So the message he is sending is pretty much this - Sorry you don't have any legs since I decided I would rather go to jail than fight with you in Vietnam, but I'm all for saving you five bucks when you go to a state park.

Have you seen where McDonald's is now offering debit cards where you can deposit funds to be used at McDonald's? Whose idea is this - the national cardiologists' association? Is the heart attack business slowing down? Are we to the point now where people are too lazy to reach into their wallets and count out cash? If you need this card, there is a 60% chance you need a forklift to get into your car.

When a movie comes out on DVD and the ads promise it's the "unrated and uncut" version, there's a 100% chance the movie is horrible and an even better chance that you will be disappointed with the "urated and uncut" materials. If the movie was any good, the "rated and cut" version would do just fine. Can you see them trying to splice a cheerleader carwash scene into "Taxi Driver?"

Can't we find just one dying kid in the state that is willing to trick Brett Favre into promising he'll play one more year? In not, how about a hare lip? Overactive sweat glands?

Will the gay marriage ban as passed by the Legislature send Ahmad Carroll to prison for the way he molests other men that are trying to catch passes?

PETA is trying to ban the use of monkeys in commercials. Is there anything funnier than talking monkeys, or monkeys smoking cigars? I would propose the opposite - that all commercials should be mandated to have at least one monkey.

Good for Owen at Boots and Sabers on his editorial in the Wisconsin State Journal today on gas tax indexing. If I were ever to appear in the paper with a point/counterpoint editorial, the descriptive bylines would look something like this:

Bob Cook is executive director of the Transportation Development Association.

Dennis York has a keyboard.