Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Rallying Behind Steven A. Stehling - Go For It!

I read the following passage from a post at "Standards and Grudges," and was genuinely moved.

For the past two years there's been one girl that I've had very strong feelings about. I screwed it up the first time around, but I never could shake those feelings for her and believe me I tried. I found myself making excuses to ignore those feelings and rationalizing that now is not a good time to make a move. I was constantly setting another benchmark that needed to be accomplished before I tried again. Time kept going by and I waited. I'm tired of waiting. The feelings I have for her haven't changed in two years. Obviously trying to ignore those feelings isn't working. Lately has been especially difficult. I've had more contact with her, but by no means a lot. I actually see her maybe once or twice a month. But I've been dreaming about her lately. Very strange dreams. I can't seem to get her out of my head and my subconscious seems to be giving me an ultimatum.

I've decided that excuses be damned. Get the girl or die trying. I have to make a move, but what kind of move? I could work my way into gradually spending more time with her or I could just blurt it out. Maybe a combination of the two. I'll admit that the dreams I've been having fall along the lines of blurting it out. Probably a bad move, but the urge to do so is strong. At this point I think any amount of planning is pointless. I've suppressed this for so long that I don't have much will power to resist my feelings and abide by a plan.

For us guys, I think we have all been there. There's a girl that you can't get out of your head, and it just kills you. The thought of her makes you stay up all night, babbling incoherently. You pencil her name in your notebooks over and over. You try to find out where she hangs out, so you can occasionally "bump" into her. You construct an elaborate tunnel system underneath her house and camp out with a stethoscope held up to her floor, to hear everything she says. Okay, maybe that last one is just me.

You don't even really want a physical relationship - your reward is to just be in the same room with her as much as possible to feel the electric nervousness you get when she is around. You just want to be privy to the way her hair falls over her eyes and she flips it back, the way she giggles at your jokes that don't necessarily deserve a laugh, and the way she bites her lip and looks at the ground when she smiles. She has no idea how big all the little things are to you, but you soak them all in.

You sit home and try to devise ways that you can trick her into being with you forever (since the last time you wore full body length spandex and a Seattle Seahawks helmet to her house didn't work). You feel like you have a bowling ball in your stomach when she's around. When the doctor tells you that you do, in fact, have a bowling ball in your stomach, you realize you have to take action, as you have only 12 minutes to live.

You play Scooter Libby and try to leak sensitive, classified information to her via friends, to see what she thinks. True story - in high school, I had a friend of a girl that I liked call her while I was on the other line via three way calling, just to see what she thought about me. During their conversation, my little sister picked up one of the other lines in our house and started yelling "Dennis likes a girl! Dennis likes a girl!" They never found my little sister again after that.

You finally decide that you want to tell her everything about what you think, but it has to be the right time and right place. You spend weeks penning the perfect speech and committing it to memory, as if you are going to debate Stephen A. Douglas. You chicken out at least 34 times before the scene is just right. After a delicious meal at KFC, your heart is pounding and your blood is on fire. You finally stumble through your speech, making nervously unexpected detours through the topics of David Hasselhoff, the occult, Chef Boyardee products, and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Seconds later, you will have no recollection of a word you said.

So I want to use my blog for the power of good - we need to get Steven some tips on how he can best court this young lady. Go to the post above and comment to offer him some encouragement, or e-mail him some tips (or e-mail your best tips to me, and I'll post them). I will stay on this until he does give her the big speech, and report on what happened. And if you know this woman, slap her upside the head and tell her she's missing out.

Steven A. Stehling deserves this woman. He has served his country, now it is time for his country to serve him. Help him out!