Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Sowa Sowa Sowa'cha Want?

So apparently some 27 year old young man named Justin Sowa has offered himself up as chum to the Paul Ryan campaign machine, declaring his congressional candidacy in Janesville on Sunday. I haven't seen Democrats this excited since McDonald's introduced the McDLT.

Youngsters overreaching and taking a shot at Congress isn't a new phenomenon. But a few things from Justin's website caught my interest.

From his bio:

Justin was born and raised in Greendale, WI. As a child, he had many problems. Born without a hip socket, he had to endure more than 10 operations to correct the problem. In second grade, he broke his femur and was in a wheelchair for 4 months. Because of all of his problems he had to learn to walk 4 times before his 10th birthday. These experiences led him to want to help those who cannot help themselves.

In high school, Justin was an athletic trainer, helping those who were injured the way he once was. He continued as a student athletic trainer at Louisiana State University. It was there, however, that his life took a markedly different turn. Realizing he did not want to be a doctor as he had always envisioned, he became active in politics on campus.

His senior year, he ran for student government president. Facing tough competition from conservatives on the, at the time, 5th most conservative campus in the country, he fell short of his goal. This only steeled his resolve. After the election, he became a voice for progressive causes on campus.

For "Justin Sowa Unplugged," see his posts on the Democratic Underground Website, a site that refers to conservatives as "idiots," has an advice column entitled "Ask Auntie Pinko," and sells erudite gut-busting t-shirts that say "FUGWB." Check it out - I'm sure it's a bastion of moderation.

So what have we learned about Justin Sowa today?

1. Apparently Justin Sowa considers walking with a limp to be a strong resume builder.

2. Justin Sowa bears a remarkable resemblance to "Flounder" from "Animal House."

3. Justin Sowa doesn't know how to spell the name of probably the most popular Democrat to hold the seat he's running for. Note to "Bugs" - it's Les "Aspin," not "Aspen." Is this guy getting public relations advice from Rafael Palmeiro?

4. His college grades were crappy, so he couldn't get into Med School (as he had always envisioned).

5. He has a willingness to cite statistics that are absolutely meaningless - I'm sure the "5th most conservative campus (at the time)" statistic is rock solid.

6. He wasn't even able to win a college student body race, appealing to the people that knew him the best - his peers. Would your next reaction be, "what I really need to do is run a race against one of America's most popular congressmen, who has $2 million in the bank?" Does this sound like a congressional decision making process? When he gets pounded by Paul Ryan does he turn around and run forthe job of Jennifer Aniston's next husband?

I don't want to sound mean-spirited and I do wish him the best of luck. Any comments I heretofore offer of Mr. Sowa will be repectful and dignified. I take pride in my blog as being a place where issues can be debated with insight and fairness, without cheap shots and unfounded accusation.

In closing, I would like to say that Justin Sowa's momma is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.