Monday, August 01, 2005

The "Smoking Iguana" Story

I really admire the posting machines (like Jessica), but I'm exhausted tonight. So I will leave you with one of my favorite non-political stories.

In college, I worked at a fancy brew pub as a waiter. As is the case in most upscale restaurants, all the twentysomethings with too much cash on hand leads to a lot of drug use. I was talking to one of the guys there about a big party he and his buddies had the night before - it went something like this:

"So my hombres and I decided it would be fun to see if we could get our iguana stoned. I would take a hit, then blow out into his cage. Then the next guy would, and he would exhale in the cage, too. Then it would get back to me, then around and around. Absolutely no response from the iguana - he just sat still.

Then, after an hour or so, the iguana just plops over on his side, like he's dead. After an hour of inhaling smoke, he finally gives in. It's at this moment that I realize - THE IGUANA WAS TRYING TO GET ME STONED! He was purposely holding out until the last minute to make me and my friends smoke as much as possible! What an awesome iguana!"

Needless to say, the iguana lived on to trick other owners into smoking too much marijuana. In fact, maybe Ricky Williams' iguana should serve his four game NFL substance abuse suspension - I think being tricked by a reptile is a perfect excuse. Today, the iguana has his own show on "Air America" Radio.